Changes Small and Large

The Experimental Mom blog has a new look. It has changed because Experimental Mom herself has changed. Baby D’s younger sibling died in utero and was miscarried on January 4th. For thirteen weeks this child grew and developed in my womb. The last developmental update I read while the child lived said that the child’s unique fingerprints had developed. We were looking forward to finding out the sex of the child in February and making the happy announcement then. Instead, as has happened in the lives of so many parents, life irrevocably changed in a few agonizing hours. Those who know me will see a cheerful person, and perhaps think to themselves “she is handling everything quite well”. But like so many others who have experienced miscarriage, I grieve quietly.

We experienced a truly wonderful show of support from family and friends. We buried the baby on Saturday January 7th. Thankfully more and more parents now have this option. The cemetery gave us a plot, the funeral home handled everything gratis, and almost two dozen people attended the funeral. I realize that this is not the norm, and am more grateful than I can express. Because we did not have the opportunity to find out whether our child was a boy or a girl, we could not use one of the names we had picked out. So we chose Caritas, because love surrounded the child for the short time we were together.

I invite anyone who has been through a miscarriage to share their experiences here, without fear of judgment or downplay of the real, permanent impact it has on parents who will never hold their babies.

In Memoriam Baby Caritas. Always Loved.

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  1. Sarah

     /  January 13, 2012

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost a baby a few years ago at 10 weeks (ectopic), but nearly lost my own life in the process and so never really had the chance to grieve properly. Take it easy and be kind to yourself. Sarah xx

    • Thank you so much for your kind words, Sarah. I am so sorry to hear you lost your baby, and that it happened in such a frightening way.


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